Putting My Trust In You
by The Phantom Alchemist
Summary: Ritsuka is sick... and Soubi will, of course, not tolerate that... a cute, fluff-filled fic where Soubi nurses Ritsuka back to health.
1. Sore and Aching

**I know it'll be cliche... Soubi taking care of Ritsuka... but i wanted to do it. This'll be a chapter story, though probably not very long. Forgive me if it's mediocre... Soul Eater is on the TV and I'm distracted =3**

* * *

That couldn't possibly be the sound of my alarm clock. I had only just gone to sleep. That infernal beeping noise must be coming from somewhere else. It wasn't time to wake up yet. Not when I'd spent most of the night tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. It had been sweltering in my room. I had only just slipped into a light sleep.

The beeping persisted. I guess denial wasn't going to cut it for me. It really was time for me to wake up. "Shut up," I groaned, irritated with the world, but I dragged myself out of bed anyway, slamming my fist down on the snooze button of my alarm clock. The room spun for a moment and I felt a little light-headed, but it passed after a few seconds.

I rubbed my neck as I trudged to my bathroom. Maybe this was a nightmare. That would make more sense. Every part of me hurt, somehow. My head was throbbing, the most prominent part of it behind my right eye. My limbs ached and were much too stiff. Worst of all was the burning sensation in my throat, like I hadn't had a drink of water in days. And my room was still sweltering.

I yanked on the knob of my sink that would produce cold water and stuck my head beneath the faucet, lapping at the steady stream with a parched sort of urgency. It did nothing to help my throat. Made it feel worse, if anything.

I grimaced and shut the water off, knowing that I probably shouldn't go to school today but unable to bring myself completely to that conclusion. I can't stay home from school on account of being sick. My mother would freak out, and when she freaks out, the likeliness of her snapping heightens considerably. If she started to beat me, I'd be too weak to defend myself.

I scoured my drawers for medication, knowing the attempt would prove fruitless before I started. I had used the last of my hoarded pain meds only a week ago, after my last serious beating endured at the hands of my mom. I wished I had taken them a bit more sparingly. Mother doesn't let me have any pills, and to ask her would be suicide. I was going to have to survive the day without the aid of drugs. Somehow.

We should turn the house's air conditioning on. It's sweltering in here.

I lingered in the shower, reveling in the cold waterfall and the relief it brought me, and towel dried my hair. I left the rest up to the forces of nature. There was no way I was going anywhere near my hair dryer. That would only make the place warmer.

The issue of clothes was a frustrating one. I badly wanted to wear a pair of shorts and a tank top, the clothing I own most equipped for sweltering weather, but that would expose nearly all of my bandages, and Lord knows that Miss Shinonome and Yuiko would both have heart attacks were they to see my collection of scars and injuries. In the end, I settled for a T-shirt and long pants, which covered all my bandages save for the one wrapped around my wrist and the one ever-present on my cheek.

I went out of my room and down the stairs to the kitchen, preparing myself to tell a series of lies, both in the way I acted and the words I spoke. I would have to act perfectly fine, should my mother be downstairs, so that she wouldn't sense weakness and take the opportunity to attack.

She was already seated at the breakfast table, eating. I let out a sigh of relief. She only eats on her good days, and more importantly, doesn't insist I dine with her. I could make a quick escape this morning if I could feign needing to leave for school early. "Good morning, Mom."

"Ritsuka!" she greeted me, smiling. It made my heart lurch. "Look, I made breakfast for you!"

My stomach churned in a highly unsettling way. Food was not going to be something I could handle today, at least without some very negative results. "It looks great," I told her honestly, because it did. "But I have to be at school early today. Me and a friend are studying for an English test."

She looked sad for a moment, and then recovered. "Well, then I'll just pack up some food for you and you can eat it on your way."

I am a terrible person.

She packed a biscuit, two slices of bacon, and a hardboiled egg into a Tupperware container for me. I smiled and thanked her with as much sincerity as I had in me, tucking it into my bag and assuring her I'd eat it during my walk to school.

She followed me to the front door, wishing me a nice day and reminding me to wear my coat since it was, to use her words, "freezing outside." I allowed her to help me into my jacket, silently cursing the heat. As I reached for the door handle, Mother kissed my forehead and smiled. "I love you, Ritsuka."

I shut my eyes, almost unable to stomach the horrible wave of guilt crashing over me. "Love you, too."

I left the house with a small sense of accomplishment sitting in my chest. She obviously hadn't noticed anything different about me. But more prominent than accomplishment was a sense of guilt, and it only made my headache worse. More than that, it was too hard to think with the horrible temperature. What had Mother been talking about when she said it was cold outside?

As I turned the corner, I saw a trash can set out on the curb for garbage collection. I stopped at it and took the Tupperware of food out of my bag. Feeling so guilty it was making me nearly physically sick, I dumped the food into it. Once that was done, I stripped off my jacket, tied it around my waist, and set off down the street.

* * *

Going to school had been a stupid idea. There was too much activity; too much noise, too many lights, too much movement. It all made me feel like someone was beating on the inside of my skull with a hammer. More than that, speaking physically hurt me. My throat burned with an even more insatiable thirst every time I replied to Yuiko or another one of my classmates, and each time a teacher called on me and I had to give an answer in front of the class. I even got yelled at for trying to open a window.

Apparently, the only person who feels like they're sitting in a sauna is me.

I managed to make it through only two class periods before my body succumbed to whatever illness I have. The bell signaling the end of second period rang and I shrunk away from the noise, hypersensitive to sound of all types. My cat ears flattened and I even let out a small moan as my head throbbed like my brain was threatening to burst.

Yuiko stood and gathered her things, and she was halfway out the door before she realized that I was still sitting in my desk, cradling my head in my hands. "Ritsuka?" she asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

Not at all, I wanted to tell her. But I nodded anyway and stood up on unsteady legs. For an instant, everything seemed fine, but then the room spun violently and everything blurred – the desks, the floor, the walls, Yuiko, and my teacher – before my knees buckled and I crumpled to the floor as everything went black.

* * *

I opened my eyes and blinked in the harsh light. I was being carried; I knew the sensation from when Soubi took me places after refusing to put me down and let me walk on my own. But these were not Soubi's arms.

The world slowly came into focus for me, and I looked up to see who had taken the job of bringing a sick preteen to the nurse's office; my math teacher. I could see why they'd fetched him for the job. He was a large, brawny man, who could easily handle carrying a frail-bodied boy a few yards.

However, if we were to reach our destination, it'd be over for me. "Put me down," I protested in a small, rough voice. "I'm fine."

"Ritsuka, you fainted!" Yuiko's frazzled voice exclaimed, and I startled. I hadn't noticed that she was there too, trotting alongside our math teacher. She looked concerned. "Plus, you're burning up! They're sending you home!"

"I can't go home!" I said, too quickly. Both my math teacher and Yuiko cast me strange looks.

Fear clutched at my heart. If they called my house and Mom answered the phone, then that was it. The next time I went outside, I'd be getting carried out of my house in a body bag. "My parents are out of town," I lied after a moment of panic. It was the only explanation I could come up with, however feeble. "My dad had to go away for business. Mom went with him."

"I'll have them call your emergency contact, then," my math teacher said firmly. "I'm not having them send you home alone like this."

I couldn't believe that the lie had worked. It was an incredible load off my mind, although I did have to wonder what Soubi would do when he got the call from my school and was informed that I was sick.

When we reached the nurse's office, I was instructed at once to one of the cots and Yuiko offered to gather my homework. The nurse thought that was a good idea, and also told her to get my schoolwork for a few days in advance. Obviously, she didn't expect me to be healthy enough for class for a couple of days at least. My math teacher informed the school nurse that she should call my emergency contact and left.

That was the last thing I registered before sleep took me.

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**Review and I'll post chapter two!**


	2. Coming to My Rescue

**I'm shocked with all the positive comments! I've never had so many in a 24 hour time period before, so thank you! I said I'd post chapter two when I got some reviews, and 4 reviews is certainly enough for me! I feel like this chapter is really long, but it's not really... pretty average length, for a chapter. I hope you enjoy Soubi coming to Ritsuka's aid!**

**I set this story in between the Zeros leaving Soubi's house (apartment?) and Soubi and Ritsuka's journey to the Academy of the Seven Voices. (That way, when Ritsuka goes to Soubi's to get better, Yoji and Natsuo won't be around to interrupt) teehee!**

* * *

**Soubi**

As Soubi was adding decisive red lines to his newest painting and ignoring Kio's pointless babbling, his phone rang. Kio sighed and gave him a look that said, _go ahead_. Not that Soubi needed his permission. Soubi pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the caller ID. It was not a number he recognized. He ignored the call.

"Who was that?" Kio asked with interest.

Soubi shrugged. "I don't know. But I wasn't interested in finding out."

His phone chimed again.

"Maybe you'd better answer," Kio suggested.

Sighing, Soubi checked the ID again. It was the same number. Wondering who on earth could possibly need to contact him so urgently, he shoved his phone against his ear and asked, "Hello?"

"Is this Soubi Agatsuma?" a female voice inquired, sounding as though this were of the utmost importance.

"It is."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. I'm the school nurse here at Jonan Elementary School. We have you listed as Ritsuka Aoyagi's emergency contact."

Soubi's heart skipped a beat and he inhaled sharply, his breath catching in his throat. "What happened? Is Ritsuka all right?"

"Well, I'm not sure. He collapsed right after second period and seems to be running a fever. We were hoping you could come and retrieve him – I'm afraid that he isn't well enough for school."

"I'll be right there," Soubi promised, snapping his phone shut and getting to his feet. He had to go get Ritsuka. He needed him, obviously. He was his sacrifice's emergency contact, which meant that he had managed to keep them from calling his mother.

"What's going on?" Kio asked, watching Soubi gather up his things.

"Ritsuka's sick. I have to go take care of him," Soubi said, dumping his paintbrushes into his bag and tossing his palette into the sink without bothering to rinse it off. He picked up his canvass and propped it in the sunlight. He'd come back for it later. Ritsuka was priority right now.

"What? Doesn't he have parents for that?"

"No," Soubi said simply, crossing the room to the door and leaving without another word.

* * *

**Ritsuka**

"Where's Ritsuka? Is he all right?" Soubi's voice demanded. I groggily opened my eyes at the sound of it and my heart fluttered. A part of me hadn't believed he would really come to get me.

"He's right over there. He's been sleeping since they brought him in about twenty minutes ago. I'm not quite sure what's wrong with him," I heard the school nurse reply in a hushed voice, as though she were afraid she might disturb me. "I tried waking him up so I could take his temperature, but he was so exhausted that he didn't even open his eyes."

"I'm taking him home," Soubi said immediately. "Is there anything I need to do to take him?"

"I've already signed him out. All I need is your signature."

"Thank you." I heard the sound of a pen scratching across paper. "Can you recommend anything to me that I should give him? Or do for him?"

"I'll write a few things down."

Soubi was standing at my side, brushing my sweat-soaked hair out of my eyes, in seconds. "Ritsuka?" he asked softly, smiling when he saw I was awake. "You okay?"

I groaned slightly and shook my head, unable to find the words to describe exactly how _not_ okay I was. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever felt worse.

"You will be," he chuckled quietly, resting his hand on my forehead. "You definitely have a fever," he sighed. When he began to move his hand away, I let out a small noise of protest and lifted my arms, wrapping my fingers around his wrist and moving his hand back to my forehead. I had never noticed how wonderfully cool his skin was. It felt marvelous. Soubi leaned over me and breathed in my ear, "But you'll have to listen to me if you want to get better."

I made a small noise of disgruntled assent. Soubi gave a small laugh and pulled the covers off of me before gathering me in his arms and lifting me off the cot. I let out a sigh of contentment and snuggled into his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck. Soubi's arms fit around me perfectly.

Soubi went back to the nurse's desk and she handed him a list of medications I should consider taking, symptoms he should be watching for, and how he should go about ensuring my recovery. She then gave him my schoolbag and told him that Yuiko had gotten my homework for the next couple of days gathered for me. Soubi thanked her and slung my bag over his shoulder before we left the school at last.

"You're very warm," Soubi informed me as he carried me out the school's front doors and towards the street. "I'm taking your temperature as soon as we get home."

That word struck a chord with me. "Home?" I whispered back, my voice cracking. "Your home or mine?"

"Mine, of course," he replied easily.

"But… I've got to get home. I've got to go back to my house," I protested feebly. "My mom… if I don't come back, she'll be so worried… she'll go insane –"

"I've already taken care of everything," he smiled. "I called her on my way to your school. She thinks you're on a class trip for a few days. She didn't ask me any further questions than that – she just told me that she hoped you would have a good time."

"This would kill her," I mumbled, resting my head over the hollow of Soubi's throat and shutting my eyes. I felt Soubi's hold on me tighten and he moved his arm so his hand was resting on the back of my head. "Are we walking home?"

"It's easier and faster any way you look at it," Soubi told me. "And besides, I prefer to have you right here, where I can protect you."

"Well, that's good," I sighed happily, even smiling a little. "Because there's no place I like to be more than here." Before I got the chance to listen to his reply, I crossed over into sleep.

* * *

When I next awoke, I found myself curled into a ball on an air mattress with a thick blanket spread out over me. It was much too hot. I heaved myself into a sitting position and began to shove it off of me, and a pair of hands larger than mine stopped me. "Oh, no you don't," Soubi scolded me, removing my hands from the blanket and tugging it back into place. "You got the chills not ten minutes ago."

"But it's too hot now," I complained, looking up at him pleadingly. He was standing over me looking stern, which never ends well for me.

"It won't be for long. You've been asleep, so I can't blame you for not noticing, but you've been shivering for minutes at a time every so often." He released my wrists and began to search his pockets for something. "Now that you're finally awake, I can begin to assess the extent of your symptoms."

I flopped back down on the air mattress with a groan, staring up at the plain white ceiling. It occurred to me that I had slept here before. This was Yoji and Natsuo's bed. Where did they go? Did they resent me for stealing their sleeping space? "Where's the Zero team?" I asked, squirming uncomfortably beneath the blanket.

Soubi seated himself on the air mattress near my stomach as he pulled something out of his pocket. "They went home."

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I mean, they had been ridiculously annoying, but a part of me had found them amusing. However, for now I was just glad they weren't around to see me in this state.

"Come on," Soubi urged me, leaning over me and sliding a hand under my back, propping me upright. He swung his leg onto the bed and let me lean on that. He then held his right hand up, showing me the electronic thermometer that he held between his fingers. "Open up."

I groaned softly, not wanting to do anything but sleep, but I parted my lips and let him slide the thermometer under my tongue. He brushed my damp bangs out of my face and pressed his lips against my forehead as the numbers on the thermometer climbed. When it beeped, Soubi took it and stared at the reading on the display. He whistled softly, impressed. "Just about 104 degrees. You, my dear, are not going anywhere for the next couple of days."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "I think I'm dying," I mumbled, laying back down and kicking the blanket off my body. I smiled, amused by his small noise of exasperation.

"Difficult little patient, aren't you?" he murmured in my ear, replacing the blanket. "Ritsuka."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "But Soubi, I feel like I'm being burned alive," I protested, whining a little.

"It's only your fever. We'll get it down," Soubi assured me, resting his forehead against mine and looking me pleadingly in the eyes. "Please Ritsuka. You promised you'd do what I told you, remember? Be good and let me take care of you."

I sighed and rolled over onto my side, away from him. "All right."

He kissed my forehead once more and sat up. "Which parts of you hurt?"

I didn't want to be cared for right now. I just wanted to sleep. I groaned and buried my face in the pillow.

"Your head?"

I nodded.

"What about your throat?"

"Hurts, a lot, a lot," I mumbled, wishing he'd just let me take the darned blanket off of my body.

"Ritsuka, I can barely understand you," Soubi told me, combing his fingers through my hair. I rolled over and gave him a look that said I was not amused. He shook his head, dismayed with my difficult attitude. "Does your tummy hurt?"

"I know you're older than me, but you don't have to talk to me like I'm a little kid," I muttered. I would have blushed if my face wasn't already red with fever.

"Ritsuka," he said warningly.

"It's okay so far."

"Don't forget, you promised to be good," he reminded me, tousling my hair. "Have you eaten anything today?"

I grimaced. Food. Yuck. "I'm not hungry."

"And now I know it's the fever talking," he said, standing up and heading for his kitchen. "You need to keep your strength up." He wasted no time in pulling a pot out of a cupboard and turning on the stove.

"Soubi, I was going to eat this morning and it only made me feel sicker," I protested, lowering the blanket from my upper body so it only covered my hips and legs. That was much better already.

"You're going to try again."

I sighed. Maybe I should stop fighting. I haven't won once yet with him so far today. "Okay," I said, succumbing.

"That's the spirit."

I buried my face in the pillow, trying to drown out the light of his apartment, which was making my head pound. Ignoring my burning throat, I gave myself over to sleep.

* * *

**Poor Ritsuka... I gave him every ailment possible... with more to come =( But that means Soubi will be working overtime to make him better... (insert fangirl screams here). And also, I am keeping this pretty clean... so unfortunately, Ritsuka won't be losing his ears (this is where the fangirls _aaaawwww_ sadly). I prefer Ritsuka with his ears and tail, anyway =3**

**So, shoot me a few more reviews and I'll put up the third chapter! I love you all!**


	3. My Concealed Wounds

**Looks like this'll be a long chapter. On Microsoft Word it's almost seven pages long (single spaced). I wish Soubi were around to take care of me when I'm sick… lucky Ritsuka =3 Aside from the fact that he's miserable, of course. More symptoms to come. I hope our poor Loveless sacrifice pulls through okay! Enjoy chapter three!**

* * *

"Ritsuka? You didn't go to sleep already, did you? Come on. It's time to wake up now," Soubi informed me, pulling me out of the void of black.

But I didn't want to wake up now. As far as I was concerned, if he left me alone to sleep forever, undisturbed, that would be perfectly fine. Preferable, even. Groaning wordlessly, I stuffed the pillow over my head, blocking out the light filtering through my closed eyelids.

"Ritsuka," Soubi persisted, lifting the pillow away from me, flooding everything with light. I flinched. "You can go back to sleep in a little bit, all right? I want you to eat something first." He gathered me up in his arms and lifted me off the bed, and I finally opened my eyes, squinting in the harsh light. I watched him in silent contempt. He chuckled. "Don't be like that."

"I don't want any food," I mumbled, rubbing sleep out of my eyes.

"I know," he told me, setting me down in one of the chairs around his breakfast table. A bowl of what appeared to be chicken noodle soup was sitting upon the table, a nearly transparent vapor of steam rising from it. "But to be fair, it's soup," Soubi added mischievously. "Not really food; more of a semi-liquid."

I made a small noise of irritation and glared up at him. He should really cool it with the wit today, especially since I was not in the best of moods. "You know what I mean," I muttered stubbornly.

"Only a few spoonfuls."

I sighed, throwing up my hands in defeat. "All right. Fine," I said. He looked pleased with my compliance and seated himself in the chair beside me, not taking his eyes off of me. Making sure I would eat.

Trying my hardest to look at anything in the room but him, I took the spoon in hand and stuck it in the bowl, swirling it around in the brownish-yellow liquid of the bowl, catching a few carrots and spiraled noodles in the whirlpool I'd created. My stomach churned and bile rose in my throat. "Soubi, I can't," I whispered, dropping the spoon. It clattered against the side of the bowl and I flinched at the sudden noise, chewing on my bottom lip.

Soubi sighed and reached for the spoon, scooping up some of the soup in it and holding it to my lips. I stared at him with wide eyes, weighing my options of succumbing or protesting. "Please," Soubi said simply, placing his free hand over mine.

Ignoring the way my stomach protested against it by twisting and lurching in every direction, my resistance crumbled and I allowed him to feed me a spoonful of soup, feeling like a pathetic child. Swallowing took much more effort than it should have. My taste buds were working properly, and the warmth of the liquid felt good to my aching throat, but my stomach immediately rejected the food and I had to force it down while ignoring the potent and rather unpleasant taste of bile lingering at the back of my mouth.

I measured the passing of time in spoonfuls, since looking at the clock took some strain and made me only feel more nauseous. At the third, I tried to take the spoon back from him. He refused, insisting that if were I to try to feed myself, I wouldn't be able to force down another mouthful. At the eighth, I tried again, unsuccessfully. I finally made him stop with the spoonfuls after the nineteenth. I felt like my stomach was going to decide to expel the soup all at once in a horrifying display, and that's the last thing I wanted Soubi to see. I begged him to put down the spoon, insisting that it was enough for now.

"All right," Soubi said, picking up the half-empty bowl and heading for his sink. "Was that so bad?"

I rested my cheek on the table and shut my eyes, concentrating on keeping the food in my stomach where it belonged. "It was all right," I mumbled. If nothing else, my throat felt a little better. That was something. I felt like I could slip away now and I would be content with it. My fever must have been getting better, too. In fact, the room was getting kind of cold. Sleep sounded so inviting.

"Don't fall asleep yet," Soubi chastised me, and I opened my heavy eyelids with some difficulty. He had dumped the remainder of the soup in the bowl down the drain and was scrubbing it out as well as the spoon, erasing any traces of my illness that might be lingering there. "I want you to have some water, and then I'm taking your temperature again."

"But you just did that, like, thirty minutes ago," I protested, having no idea if that time frame was accurate or not.

"I want to see if food helped your fever or not," Soubi explained, setting the bowl down next to the sink and filling a glass with water from the tap. He came back to my side and set it down. "Drink all of it, okay?"

My stomach already felt like it had taken more than it could handle, but I did as I was told. Halfway through it I felt like I was seriously going to throw up, and I choked on the water and gagged before enduring an agonizing fit of coughing, which set my parched and dry throat ablaze. Soubi murmured sympathetically and rubbed my back, waiting for it to pass.

I gasped and buried my face in my hands, breathing heavily. "I really don't feel good," I whispered, retching slightly. My stomach was performing a nauseating series of acrobatics.

"It's okay," he said comfortingly, pulling the thermometer out of his pocket and uncapping it. "Come on. You just have to get through this and then you can go back to sleep."

Anything for sleep. I opened my mouth and let him slide the thermometer beneath my tongue, waiting impatiently for it to beep. Soubi began rummaging around in his pockets again, although I couldn't imagine why. The thermometer gave a small chitter, informing us it had done its job, and Soubi took it and looked at the reading, clicking his tongue. I looked up at him, concerned. "Is it bad?"

He stared at it thoughtfully and then asked, "Ritsuka, could you open your mouth for me?"

I performed a double-take, startled by the suddenness of the question, not even sure what had brought it on. "What?"

"Please, Ritsuka. I just want to check something, and then you can get some sleep," he promised me, and he knew he had me by the way my cat ears perked up with interest when he said _sleep_.

I humored him, still ridiculously confused, opening my mouth as wide as I could. My jaw felt stiff. Soubi knelt in front of me, peering at my throat. It was all very awkward, and I shut my eyes as though being unable to see him would lighten the embarrassment of the situation. It didn't.

I was completely unprepared when he stuck something in my mouth and poked the dangly thing hanging in the back of my throat. I gagged again, so sure I would throw up that it shocked me when I didn't. I recoiled away from Soubi so violently that I would have toppled out of my chair had he not put an arm around my waist, catching me before I fell. "Why did you do that?" I gasped, massaging my throat and swallowing down more bile.

Soubi smiled and placed a reassuring hand on my leg as he stood. "An at-home strep test," he said, giving me the simplest explanation he could.

"You could have told me!" I snapped, my tail bristling.

"I didn't want to frighten you."

"So making me vomit was a better idea?" I grumbled, folding my arms across my chest and shooting him an unimpressed glance.

Soubi chuckled and brushed my hair out of my face. "Your temperature was about half a degree lower. You need to get some more sleep, okay?"

He reached out to take me in his arms again, but I shoved him away. "I can walk," I muttered. He sighed and turned away from me, going back to his kitchen. I could feel his eyes on me as I picked myself up out of the chair and stumbled back to the air mattress on unsteady legs, a distance that couldn't have been more than six or seven feet but felt like a mile to me. I refused to ask for his assistance, though, and the best I can say is that I made it there, however clumsy.

The first thing I did after I toppled onto the mattress was burrow beneath the blanket, curling into a ball, trying to find a way to retain warmth, seeking it instead of trying to avoid it. I even missed the awful heat of fever. After a few minutes, Soubi sat down on the air mattress next to my stomach and brushed my hair back. "Are you cold, Ritsuka?"

I nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him, blanket and all, so that I was resting in his lap. I curled my knees into my chest and snuggled into him. "Well," he sighed, moving his hands so one rested between my shoulder blades and the other on the back of my head. The way he holds me so I feel safest. "You don't have strep. I wonder what it could be."

"Soubi?" I mumbled, my voice muffled even to my own ears.

"Yes?"

"I could probably go to sleep faster if you stopped talking."

* * *

I wasn't in Soubi's arms when I opened my eyes. And it was much too hot again. Groaning, I kicked the blanket off my body. Immediately, it was tugged back into place. "So, you're finally awake, are you?" Soubi asked me. I opened my eyes and looked up at him as he reached out to gather me in his arms again.

I cringed away from him, shaking my head. "It's too hot," I mumbled.

He looked disappointed for a moment. "We've got to bring your fever down, Ritsuka," he said seriously, sweeping me up in his arms. I yelped and wrapped my arms around his neck as quickly as I could, terrified that I would fall. "I have a surprise for you," he smiled.

I looked up at him, intrigued. "What is it?"

"I went to your house once you fell asleep and got some lighter clothes for you. A T-shirt with shorter sleeves and a pair of shorts."

"You went through my drawers?" I asked, shocked that he was admitting so casually to such a blatant breach of my privacy.

His smile faltered. "You're angry."

"No, I'm not. It's fine," I said quickly. "But why are you carrying me?"

"For the other surprise," he told me slyly. I realized with a start that he was heading for his bathroom, and was too curious to find out what exactly was happening to demand he put me down. He opened the door and carried me inside, setting me down next to the tub, which doubled as a shower. It was filled three quarters of the way with water.

I looked to Soubi inquisitively. "What is this?"

"I read somewhere once that this helps bring a fever down." Without any invitation at all, he reached out and took the bottom of my T-shirt, beginning to tug it up. I recoiled away from him. Flushed with fever or not, I knew I was blushing.

"What are you doing?" I exclaimed, slapping his hand away and wrapping my arms around myself protectively.

Soubi paused, looking at me with a confused expression. "You don't want a bath?" he asked.

"No, a bath is fine. It's the undressing part that you're not allowed to do," I muttered. "I am perfectly capable of that."

He seemed to be struggling for a response. "Ritsuka, I don't mean to sound perverted or anything, so please don't take it that way, but I'm terrified you'll fall asleep and drown yourself if you're in here alone."

I bit my bottom lip. The truth is that his fears weren't irrational. That was a highly likely scenario. "All right. I understand," I sighed. "Just leave for a minute. I'll tell you when you can come in, okay?"

He nodded and kissed my forehead before slipping out of the bathroom. As soon as he shut the door, I stripped off my shirt and pants. God, it was good to feel a little cooler. I paused and bit my lip, glancing at the door and then at the tub. Sighing, I stepped out of everything else I was wearing and unwrapped the bandage wrapped around my wrist and then the one wound around my ribcage. I also removed the cotton bandages taped to my shoulder, my leg, and my collarbone. I left the constellation of band-aids on my right arm where it was, as well as the one taped to my cheek. At last, I lowered myself into the tub, sighing contentedly. This felt amazing.

I reached for the shower curtain and yanked it towards me so that I was hidden behind a veil of fabric, and called to Soubi, "You can come in now."

I heard the door open almost immediately and Soubi coming into the bathroom. His footsteps echoed on the tile floor, and I listened as he seated himself next to the tub. I could see his silhouette. He was sitting with his back against the side of the tub, facing away from me. "Feel any better?" he asked.

"Much," I breathed, smiling as I dipped my head beneath the water.

"I brought your clothes," Soubi told me. He was silent for a moment, and then he asked darkly, "Ritsuka? What are all these bandages?"

My breath caught in my chest. Why hadn't I thought to hide them or something? "It's nothing. I always have injuries. You know that."

"I didn't know it was this bad."

"It's not. It's fine," I said, holding my breath and dunking my entire body beneath the water to avoid answering any further questions. I didn't feel so sick beneath the surface. "Soubi?" I asked suddenly, coming up out of the water and pushing my soaked hair back. "What if I get you sick?"

He laughed softly. "That doesn't matter. I'm the adult. You're still a child. I take care of you; that's just how it works."

I blushed and even smiled. "Don't get sick because of me, okay? That's an order."

"Understood." He was smiling, too. That made me happy.

"How long do I get to stay in here?"

"About fifteen minutes or so."

I sighed, grinning. A whole fifteen minutes of bliss. I didn't talk anymore after that, enjoying the silence and trying to concentrate on the light, delicious coolness of the water. It only lasted about two before Soubi got it in his head that my lack of speaking indicated there was something wrong. "Ritsuka? Did you fall asleep?"

"Uh-uh. Just… thinking, I guess. About nothing, really. So I guess it wasn't as much thinking as it was spacing out, but… it was nice."

He chuckled. "All right. It's good you're relaxing. I think stress might have been a major contributing factor to your being sick. Just make a bit of noise so I know you're not dozing off."

"Okay," I agreed, glad he was so gracious about my desire for nothingness.

It felt to me like a beautiful eternity of silence. No talking. Not even a need to think. I was so disappointed when Soubi's voice cut through the silence. "You've got to get out, Ritsuka."

I sighed. "Not even a few more minutes?"

"I gave you almost thirty. It isn't good for you to stay in there longer."

"All right." I opened the drain and lifted myself out of the tub, the water lapping at my calves. "Could you hand me a towel?"

He passed me a towel through the curtain and I unfolded it, rapidly rubbing it over my limbs and torso before wrapping it around my body. He then passed through a set of my folded up clothes and, trying not to think too much on how he had to rifle through my drawers, I slipped everything on before I realized I had a major problem on my hands.

I was covered in wounds that needed to be bandaged, in scars of all types. "Soubi?" I asked hesitantly. "Um… do you think I could wear the clothes I came in?"

I could hear the shock in his voice. "Is there something wrong?"

"No," I mumbled.

"Did you get cold again?"

I chewed on my bottom lip, wishing he would stop asking questions. "I just want to wear the clothes I came in."

Quite suddenly, the curtain flew aside and Soubi, looking concerned, was right in front of me. I yelped and tried to cover up my arms, which had the most prominent scars, with the towel, and was unable to keep him from lifting me out of the tub and setting me down in front of him. "Soubi!" I exclaimed, tugging the towel tighter around my arms and crouching down so he couldn't see my legs. I wouldn't let his see my scars. I wouldn't. "What are you doing?"

He knelt down in front of me and took the towel away from me, drying off my hair. "Ritsuka… is there something you're trying to hide from me?"

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore!" I said, tears stinging my eyes. "You've seen everything now!"

He looked confused. "Ritsuka… would it be appropriate for me to point out that you're fully clothed?"

"No! I didn't mean the clothes! I didn't want you to see…" I trailed off. If he really hadn't noticed yet, then maybe I was shooting myself in the foot. "Nothing. Never mind," I whispered.

"No, Ritsuka. Please talk to me. Tell me what's wrong," he breathed, letting the towel hang draped around my shoulder. A look of realization dawned in his expression. "Is it your scars? All those bandages?"

Slowly, I nodded, and a tear rolled down my cheek. "I have to put them back on," I said shakily, my voice cracking.

Soubi looked me over appraisingly. "Let me," he requested.

"You don't know where they go."

"I will if you tell me." He leaned his face forward and brushed his lips against the band-aids taped in a messy arrangement on my shoulder. "It looks as if you don't know how to do it properly," he said teasingly.

"I can do it just fine!" I snapped as he took my wrist, which had four deep puncture wounds. "It's nothing," I whispered.

"Is this from a fork?" he asked darkly, picking up the shorter of the two bandages I had left on the floor next to the tub and beginning to wrap it with precise motions.

I couldn't think of anything that I could adequately lie about to explain that injury, so I told him the truth. "Yes."

He fastened the dressing and kissed my wrist before he picked up the longer bandage. "And this one?"

I rubbed tears out of my eyes, staring at a point just over his shoulder to avoid looking him in the eyes. "I don't really need that one. I just hate looking at the bruises on my ribcage."

His hands inadvertently moved to a point above my stomach, his fingers brushing against my ribs. "Here, too?"

"She kicks me when I fall… sometimes."

He shut his eyes, looking ill himself, and asked me to tell him where the other bandages went. I instructed him to the wounds on my knee, on my collarbone, and the shoulder without the band-aids, explaining how I got them. My mother threw me down the stairs a few days ago, which resulted in the cuts on my shoulder and knee. The fork was the culprit for my collarbone as well.

"Why do you tolerate it, Ritsuka?" he asked softly, kissing the bandage on my cheek. "I can save you from her."

"I don't want to be saved! I've told you before not to talk about my mother!" I burst out, my wet tail bristling. I immediately felt bad for my lash-out. Soubi looked hurt. "Sorry," I whispered.

He wrapped me in a hug. "You're so cute, you know that?" he asked, chuckling. "Even when you're sick."

I shivered, growing cold, and pressed myself more closely into him. "Soubi? Do you think you could… take my temperature again?" I whispered. "I'm cold. Is that a good sign?"

"Let's find out," he sighed, sweeping me up in his arms and carrying me out of the bathroom, back to the air mattress. He kept me in his arms, subduing my shivers, as he pulled the thermometer out of his pocket. I opened my mouth without a word, eager to find out if my fever was better. I felt a little better now, after having some food and a bath. I hoped they both would prove to be successful.

The thermometer beeped and Soubi took it, staring at the reading. He smiled. "It's down to 102.7," he told me. "Whatever it is we've been doing, we've been doing it right."

"Yay," I said, cracking a smile of my own. "How long do you think this will last, Soubi?" I asked, curling up in his lap again and shutting my eyes.

"I don't know. We'll just have to see how it goes."

"All right." I yawned and snuggled into his chest. "I'm going to go to sleep now, all right?" I breathed.

I felt his hands between my shoulder blades and on the back of my head and smiled even wider. "Sleep well, Ritsuka," he murmured, kissing my forehead. "I love you."

* * *

**Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had a Soubi there for them…?**

**Anyway, I gave ya'll a lot in this chapter and I expect your feedback! Authors are kinder to their readers if they have reviews to look back on! It inspires us! I'm sure all you authors out there reading this know exactly what I mean!**

**Heck, tell me what you'd like to see happen in this story. There are so many possibilities at this point… Love you all! See you in chapter four!**


	4. Nightmares, Among Other Things

**Okay, so this first bit is a really loose adaptation of Loveless episode 12, which was really the only episode of the anime I enjoyed. I didn't want to try to recreate the entire nightmare, so instead I rounded it off and had Soubi react accordingly. Here's where Ritsuka's symptoms get bad! Poor little neko! Regardless of our poor suffering Ritsuka, I hope you all enjoy chapter four!**

* * *

I woke up screaming.

Soubi was at my side in an instant, urgently reaching out for me and exclaiming frantically, "Ritsuka? Ritsuka, what is it? What's wrong?"

His fingers brushed my shoulders and I recoiled so violently away from him that my stomach lurched dangerously. "Don't touch me!" I gasped, horrified to find tears spilling over my cheeks.

"Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, startled by my reluctance. "Ritsuka, you won't get me sick, I swear," he promised, too calmly. He was trying to hide his concern.

"It's not that! Don't touch me!" I repeated, shaking as images from my nightmare replayed in my head. Particularly one, which eventually dominated my whole mind.

_This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be real. How could they all be dead? Dr. Katsuko… Miss Shinonome… Yayoi… Yuiko. Oh, god, Yuiko._

_My fault. All my fault. Seven Moons had caught up to me and they were doing everything in their power to make my life miserable. To make me snap. And there were only two people left out there that I cared about._

_They wouldn't get Soubi easily. But my mom…_

_I burst into my house in a frantic rush, praying I was in time. Praying that wasn't… blood… on the walls…_

"_NO!" I screeched, throwing myself onto the floor beside the mangled, bloody mess that was my mother's body. "Mom! No! MOM!"_

"_Ritsuka," a calm voice said from the door. I whirled around, expecting no less than an angel, my savior. Soubi._

_I burst into tears, racing for him and wrapping my arms around my fighter, sobbing into his chest. "Soubi, they're dead! They're all dead! And it's my fault, it's all my fault!"_

"_Ritsuka…" he sighed, placing his hands over my arms and prying them away from his body. I looked up at him, confused. What was wrong? Was there another fighter close to us?_

_He's never pushed me away before. And he's never looked so frigidly at me before._

_Slowly, he raised his hands towards my face, and I felt a moment's relief, preparing myself for his kiss. He'd take my cheeks in his hands… slowly press his lips against mine…_

_I shut my eyes and smiled, waiting._

_His fingers never reached my cheeks. I felt them instead close around my throat. My eyes flew open and I made a choked noise of mixed protest and horror._

"_I've been given my orders," Soubi said icily, tightening his grasp on me. I couldn't breathe – more than that, I could feel my windpipe collapsing._

_He was going to kill me._

"_Semei is my god," Soubi told me stonily. His face was blurring in and out of focus. "His word is absolute. I follow his every command… and Semei wants you dead."_

"Ritsuka… please," Soubi whispered, stretching out a hesitant arm to me. I flinched and he withdrew his hand. "What's wrong?" he repeated. "Do you feel worse? Do I need to—"

"No!" I exclaimed, wiping at my eyes. "Don't do anything! Just… leave me alone right now! Please! I want to be alone!"

"No, Ritsuka," Soubi said firmly, reaching out for me and gathering me up in his arms, no matter how much I trembled and recoiled away from him, thrashing against his embrace. My struggles grew weaker the longer they endured; my strength was sapped by fever and sickness.

"Let me go! Soubi!" I whined, giving one last feeble squirm before giving up, exhausted, resting my head against his chest. "Let me go," I repeated.

"I won't. Tell me what's wrong."

I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut. The idea of asking him scared me more than the dream had. "I can't," I mumbled, blushing. "Please, Soubi, just leave me alone right now. Please."

His silence was enough to tell me he wasn't letting go. At last, I took a deep breath and whispered, "If Semei… came back, and he ordered you to… kill me, would you?"

I felt him tense up and then his hold on me loosened, and I took the opportunity to roll out of his arms back onto the mattress, scrambling away from him. "Well?" I demanded.

He was staring into his lap, frozen, refusing to look at me. It took a long time, filled with tepid silence, before he answered. "Probably."

I gasped, not expecting that answer. Well… expecting, but not wanting. "I knew it," I whispered, more tears rolling down my cheeks as I got to my feet and stalked to his door, despite the fact that the room was spinning. "I'm going home."

"Ritsuka!" He was behind me faster than I could comprehend in my state, his arms wrapped around me in an embrace, not meant to be my prison.

"No! Forget it, Soubi! I don't care that I'm sick, okay? I can't even look at you right now! Let go of me!"

"Ritsuka," he murmured, cupping the back of my head and placing his other hand between my shoulder blades. That jerk has figured out that I love it when he holds me like this. "I'd die before I ever hurt you."

I couldn't take it anymore. I was weak and could barely even stand. Although I'd probably been sleeping for hours, I was exhausted from the excitement of the last few minutes. My knees buckled and I collapsed into him, and Soubi plucked me off the ground mid-fall and swept me into his arms, holding me the way I love, as I fell to emotional pieces. "I'm sorry," I apologized over and over, unable to bear the memory of the incredible pain I'd seen in Soubi's eyes when I'd tried to leave.

"Hush, Ritsuka. It's all right," he murmured, slowly reseating himself on the air mattress. "I understand."

I shook my head and attempted to wipe at the tears on my cheeks, trying to swallow down a watery bout of hiccups. "I don't want to hear that! I'm being so awful when all you've done since I got sick is take care of me! Why don't you ever get mad at me? I'm a terrible person!"

"I love you," he reminded me, his lips grazing my hairline. "I don't care how you act. I love you. I want to care for you. Always." He glanced at his clock and added, "Speaking of which, you need to eat again. And I finally found the Advil…"

Just like that? Subject dropped? Nothing else about me and my inexcusable behavior and my irrational emotional breakdown?

Wow. He really _does_ love me.

He let me feed myself this time – I have to admit, I almost fell over out of shock – and I choked down a slice of buttered toast and an egg. I may have been delusional, but it was almost like I could feel the food hitting my stomach, which made me nauseous. Afterwards, Soubi set down two small white tablets of Advil next to me, much to my excitement, and made me take them with a tall glass of water. He started dropping hints that there was a possibility that I was getting dehydrated, so I agreed to his request that I drink some water each time I woke up.

I decided that I wasn't going to be difficult anymore. I was just going to go along with what he told me to do and stop resisting. It was easier that way, and it made the knot of guilt in my stomach slowly unfurl.

At long last, I was curled up in his lap with the thermometer beneath my tongue, the promise of sleep waiting a beep of the small machine away. When it chimed, Soubi took it and frowned. "It's gone back up. A little over 103 degrees."

I sighed and held my head. I loved the way I fit in his lap perfectly, but I couldn't bear it even a second longer. "I'm too hot, Soubi."

He gingerly moved me off of his lap and onto the air mattress, and didn't even cover me with the blanket. I don't know if he's trying not to tread in dangerous waters and make me snap again, but I kind of liked the minimal freedom I was getting – feeding myself, sleeping without a blanket. "You'll feel better when you wake up," he promised me, and then added under his breath, "I hope."

"Well, that's encouraging," I smiled, amused, allowing my eyes to close. Sleep took me with little effort at all.

* * *

I did _not_ feel better when I woke up. Not even a little bit.

I jolted awake when I felt the bile leap to my throat, threatening to force its way out of my stomach. I snapped into alertness, convulsing over the side of the air mattress as I tried desperately to stand up, praying I wouldn't get sick, tangibly sick, all over the floor. I almost kicked Soubi, who appeared to have been sprawled out on the mattress beside me, fast asleep.

I struggled to my feet and clambered blindly for his bathroom in the dark, falling to the floor halfway there when my legs gave out. I pulled myself up and raced as fast as was physically possible for me in my state and collapsed next to the toilet before promptly emptying the contents of my stomach into it.

I was gasping for air at this point, unable to fill my lungs as I dry-heaved over the toilet. My stomach hurt so bad I was afraid it had spontaneously combusted. Whatever else remained in it decided to make its reappearance then, and I choked and coughed it up as well, setting my already burning throat ablaze. Agonized, distressed tears began to trickle down my cheeks, and I let out a choked sob as I rested my head on the edge of the tub, knowing for sure that my stomach wasn't through expelling everything it possibly could.

"Ritsuka?" Soubi's voice came from the door, and it strained my eyes to look up at him. He had a look of sympathy and alarm on his face, frozen in the doorway as he took in the whole lovely picture of my trembling body slumped across his bathroom floor next to the toilet.

I sniffled, simply not caring that he could see I was sobbing because it might produce an embrace, and whispered, "Soubi?"

He didn't move, replying in a quiet voice. "What is it?"

My bottom lip trembled and a fresh wave of tears spilled out of my eyes, cascading onto the tile floor. "_Now_ my tummy hurts."

"Oh, Ritsuka," he sighed in relief, like he had thought I was going to tell him I had just literally coughed up a lung or something, before he crossed the bathroom to me in three strides and sank to the floor, leaning against the tub and gently wrapping an arm around me, stroking my hair. I hiccupped and, losing all sense of dignity, threw myself at the floor in front of him, using his leg as a pillow, and curled my knees into my chest. Soubi murmured sympathetically, rubbing my back as I tried to stifle my sobs. "It's okay, Ritsuka. It's going to be okay."

I gasped and barely managed to rocket into a sitting position, straddling the porcelain base of the toilet with my legs, vomiting again. I didn't even know what was left in my stomach to throw up. I was having trouble breathing again, this time because I was crying so violently with humiliation. Soubi looked pained, as though seeing me in such a state was hurting him as well. "You're okay, Ritsuka. It'll all be okay."

"Soubi, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I managed to choke out before everything else I tried to say became incoherent to even my own ears.

"It's not your fault." He sighed, worried. "I thought you were getting better," he admitted, combing his fingers through my hair. "Is it over?"

The throwing up? It felt like it. I hoped so, at least. "I think so," I whispered.

"Do you feel any better?" he asked hopefully.

"No. Worse, much worse," I moaned, burying my face in my hands and breaking down again, shocked I had any tears left in me to shed.

He began to rub my back again, trying to offer me a little bit of comfort. "Hush, Ritsuka. It's all right."

"The medicine didn't help at all?" he asked, and I shook my head. He nodded slowly, drawing an accurate conclusion. "That's probably because you threw it up."

"That doesn't make me feel better!" I groaned, wiping at my eyes with a clumsy, trembling hand.

Soubi gathered me up in his arms and lifted me up off the ground, sighing. "I know. It'll be fine, I promise. I'll take your temperature in the morning and we'll figure out what to do then."

"Why not now?" I whispered.

"It's three a.m. I think it's be in both of our best interests if for now you had some water and went back to sleep."

"'Kay," I mumbled, sniffling as I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest.

* * *

**Well, what'd ya'll think? I agree with the statement in one of the reviews I got… this fic **_**is **_**cute overload, isn't it? But I don't mind because it's better that way! Soubi really would take care of his sacrifice like this… wouldn't he? (hmmmm…..) Review, please? Love you all!**


	5. Putting My Trust In You

**Well, here it is! This may just be the final chapter of this lovely little fic. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. The thing is, I love the way things played out between Ritsuka and Soubi and I'm afraid that adding more would ruin the illusion! I'll think about it for a while… I'll be on vacation for two weeks in the mountains starting Monday – no cell phones or internet access up there – and give it some thought. When I come back, hopefully I'll have decided to either leave it as is or write one last chapter…**

**This chapter is actually pretty long. Almost 4900 words long! That's around seven single-spaced Word 2007 pages long! I'm so proud =3 This extra chapter gives this fic the boost it needed to become officially my longest fic for now. I've got an Ouran High School Host Club fic running, however, and seeing as it is not nearly close to being finished, I'm quite sure it will surpass the word count of this fic... eventually... You should check it out if you're into Ouran! It's titled _Diary of a Reluctant Rich Girl_. (Oh, wow, I'm promoting my fanfics in my fanfics. That's kind of sad...)**

**And so, without further gilding the introductions and no more ado, I give to you the (perhaps) final installment of Putting My Trust In You: Chapter 5!**

* * *

I can't tell you how long it went on like that. What little I ate – a grand total of four more times – I threw up, and Soubi eventually stopped making me take medicine because none of it was working. I had on and off chills, and my temperature fluctuated but never dropped below 101 degrees. I had never felt more miserable. I would have faced several more painful battles, enduring through agony as Soubi's sacrifice, if only it would make whatever illness I had go away.

All I seemed to be able to do was sleep. This was perfectly fine by me, of course, since asleep I didn't have to deal with my burning throat, my throbbing head, or my aching stomach. Soubi snuck into my house a couple more times to bring me clothes, which I appreciated. I actually _did_ fall asleep in the bath at one point, but Soubi yelled me awake rather than took immediate action, to my great relief.

I guess, at last, Soubi couldn't bear it any longer.

* * *

"Ritsuka, wake up," he murmured, and I startled out of sleep. I was freezing. As I reached out for him and he gathered me up in his arms, he told me gingerly, "We have to get going."

I yawned and rubbed my eyes, still groggy. "Where are we going?"

"I scheduled you for a doctor's appointment in thirty minutes."

That got me awake real quick. Unease pressed against my already sensitive stomach and I rolled out of his arms and back onto the mattress at once. "Soubi, that costs money," I protested. That was the best objection I could come up with at the moment.

"I don't care, Ritsuka," he reassured me. "It doesn't matter as long as you get better. That's all I care about."

"But _I_ care, Soubi. Don't waste your money on me; it's not worth it. I'll get better on my own, I swear."

"Ritsuka, we have to get going," he said, ignoring what I'd told him.

"No!" I burst out fearfully, unable to hold it back anymore. I didn't want to go see a doctor. If we're so attune to each other, why couldn't he tell that?

Soubi looked taken aback by my sudden blatant refusal. "Is there something wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"I don't want to go," I mumbled. "I… I hate doctors. Don't make me go!"

"What on earth are you talking about, Ritsuka?" Soubi sighed, shaking his head. "Don't you want to get better? Now, come here. We have to go." He held his arms open. Tempting, but still a trap. I ignored him.

"I'm not going and that's an order!" I snapped, turning away from him and curling my knees into my chest. "You go, if you want. I'm staying here."

He lifted me off the mattress at once and I yelped. His voice stony, he told me, "I'm disregarding your orders on account that your well-being is my first priority. Please don't be difficult."

"Put me down!" I exclaimed shrilly as he opened his apartment door and went through it. "Soubi! Let go!"

"Not a chance."

* * *

Soubi chuckled at my murderous expression as he carried me into the clinic. "Don't be like that, Ritsuka."

"I am not speaking to you," I informed him furiously, trying to formulate an escape plan. "I said I didn't want to go and then you dragged me out here in my pajamas and everything!"

"You were being difficult," he chuckled as we approached the front of the clinic. "And I want you better as fast as possible. Did you know it's already been three days since you started throwing up?"

"Three days?" I groaned. "I've wasted three days of my life being sick?"

"Five," he corrected me softly. "That's how long ago your school called me to tell me you were sick."

"I don't want to believe this," I mumbled, then groaned again, wordlessly, as he went through the clinic's doors and approached the registration desk. "Please turn around!"

"Not a chance, Ritsuka." He carried me up to the registration desk and said to the clerk, "I called in last night. For Ritsuka Aoyagi."

She smiled at him and scratched my name off her list of patients. "I'm sorry we couldn't get you in earlier. You sounded so worried about him." She flashed me a grin and said, "It'll just be a minute."

"Soubi, quick! We can still make a run for it!" I whispered. He smirked and shook his head, moving away from the door and towards the waiting area, where he sat in a chair and pulled me closer into him. I felt fear begin to settle over me and I involuntarily began shaking.

"Ritsuka? What's the matter?"

"Please don't make me go in there, Soubi!" I whispered pleadingly. "I don't want to… I can't do it. Please take me back to your house!"

"There's no need to be nervous," he smiled reassuringly. "Haven't you ever been to see a doctor before?"

I had to think a lot about my answer before I replied. "Sort of. But only before I switched personalities. My mom didn't want to invest any time or money in a boy who wasn't… _her _Ritsuka. I don't remember ever… I… I just don't know," I mumbled tremulously.

Soubi sighed and pulled me even tighter into him. "It'll be okay," he assured me. "You'll get through this and then you'll get better. You don't have to be scared. Do you want me to come in with you?"

I stared up at him in horror. "You mean you weren't planning to?" I squeaked, my trembles accelerating by the second.

"Ritsuka Aoyagi," a loud female voice called from a side door. My muscles tensed and I buried my face between the folds of Soubi's coat in a pitiful attempt to hide myself. Soubi gave me a reassuring squeeze as he stood and headed towards the side door. The nurse stared at me like she were confused as to why I wasn't walking, but smiled anyway. "Right through here…"

She led us down a separate hallway and into a room with an examination table on one side and two chairs next to a desk on the other. "Okay, then. You can go ahead and sit in the chairs," she said, proceeding to the cupboard over the desk and pulling a thermometer and an instrument to measure blood pressure from it as Soubi sat in a chair without releasing me. The nurse asked no questions about this and slid the thermometer under my tongue.

As the machine got an accurate reading, Soubi pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and passed it to her. "I recorded his temperature every time I took it," he explained. I startled, having no idea that he'd been tracing it. I glanced at the paper, impressed, and saw he'd even noted what measures had been taken to lower my fever.

"Thank you," she said briskly, attaching the list to the clipboard on the desk already loaded with my medical records. The thermometer in my mouth beeped and she took it, scribbling down the temperature reading on a new document. I doubt she would have even told us what it was had Soubi not asked. Her answer was simply, "101.2."

She wrapped a Velcro band around my arm and slowly constricted it to take my blood pressure and jotted that down in a box near my temperature recording and smiled. "All right. The doctor will be by in just a few minutes." With a wave, she slipped out of the room.

I felt my throat close up slightly and Soubi noticed my suddenly shallower breathing. "It's okay, Ritsuka. Just breathe."

"I'm trying here," I gasped, taking to the nervous habit of chewing anxiously on my bottom lip. "Soubi… what's…?" I blushed, realizing that the question I'd been about to ask sounded juvenile and foolish. "Never mind."

"No, I want to hear this," he told me as he started to play with my tail, winding in his fingers. "What do you want to know?"

"It's just that… what… What is he going to… to do to me?" I finished the inquiry in a whisper, staring down at my lap to avoid looking at Soubi. That _had_ been a stupid question.

He didn't seem to think so. "Firstly, I want you to realize he's not going to hurt you, alright?" He hugged me closer to him and didn't let go, his hands on the back of my head and between my shoulder blades. "I'm here and I'll never let anything hurt you. He'll shine a light in your eyes to look at them and listen to your heartbeat. You'll probably have to endure another strep test. And he might feel your stomach. There's nothing to be worried about."

"No needles?" I whispered hopefully.

He gave me a long, sympathetic look and kissed the center of my forehead. "I can't promise that," he murmured.

I involuntarily began trembling again and my cat ears flattened against my head, proving I was suddenly terrified out of my wits. The reason I hate doctors doesn't lie in my unfamiliarity with them – it's the fact that doctors mean needles, something I am devastatingly frightened of.

Soubi sighed, knowing there was nothing he could really do to help, and cradled my frail, sick body in his lap, rubbing my back and murmuring an occasional reassurance. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I refused to cry.

When the door opened again, it was a man wearing a white lab coat who entered. He was middle-aged with dark hair and eyes that crinkled at the corners, like he had done a lot of smiling in his lifetime. It made you want to trust him – something I was unwilling to do.

"Well, Mr. Aoyagi, quite a fever you've been running for the past few days," he said pleasantly, picking up the clipboard and perusing Soubi's record of my temperature. "How do you feel today?"

I hated being addressed by him, forced to answer a question. "My throat hurts," I mumbled, burying my face in the folds of Soubi's coat again. "And my head and stomach."

"Sounds awful," he said sympathetically, flipping through my medical information on the clipboard. "Have you been sleeping?"

"Excessively," Soubi replied for me, and for that I was grateful. "He's been sleeping for up to fifteen hours at a time."

Good lord. I had no idea it had gotten that bad. I just never felt rested, so I slept more. It was no wonder Soubi was so worried about me. I was practically a zombie.

"What about food? How much has he been eating?"

"Whenever he was awake we made sure he had water," Soubi said, making this response about us, not just himself or me. "And I got him to have some soup, some toast, and some oatmeal at different times over the past few days."

"He's been vomiting?"

"Yes," Soubi replied simply, and I turned red with embarrassment, for some unexplainable reason. I felt suddenly very guilty for making Soubi have to live with me for the past few days.

The doctor scribbled a few notes onto a medical record and nodded. "All right, then. Ritsuka – on the table, if you please."

He indicated the examination table and fear clutched at my heart. It was like being crushed by torrential waves of frigid water. A tear trickled down my cheek and I buried my face into Soubi's coat until I couldn't see the room anymore, only the pale brown fabric.

"He's just a little nervous," Soubi said apologetically, and I felt his hands move away from my back to my cheeks, pulling me away from his body. "It's okay," he assured me with an amused smile. "Nothing bad is going to happen. I won't let it."

"I don't care," I whispered. "I… can't. I just can't do it."

Against my will, Soubi stood up and carried me the two strides it took to cross the room, setting me down on the exam table and gently prying my fingers away from his coat. "It'll be fine," he assured me, and grazed his lips against my hairline to ignore the betrayed glare I was giving him.

"Soubi—" I began to protest, and then suddenly the doctor had his stethoscope over my heart and my voice caught in my throat as I turned rigid with fear.

Soubi stood at my side and I held onto his hand as though my very life depended on never letting go. If I couldn't have his arms around me, his hand in mine would do. His hands are larger than mine and very nearly engulf my hands when we hold them. It makes me feel secure enough. Not nearly as protected as his arms make me feel.

The doctor listened to my heart, like Soubi had said, and then my lungs. I did not want to follow his orders and breathe calmly in and out when I felt ready to hyperventilate, but I obeyed for Soubi's sake – Soubi, who squeezed my hand every few seconds to reassure me he was still by my side, who was wasting his money on me by taking me here, who was desperate for me to get better. I endured for him.

A light was shone in my eyes. I hated it. It made my head hurt and I had to follow more orders. Look left, right, straight ahead, up, down. They watered terribly.

I relaxed slightly after a couple minutes, only after my throat had been invaded once more by a strep test administered by a well-meaning hand. I prayed that would be the worst of it and that Soubi and I could go home with the promise of my recovery.

"Lay down on your back for me," the doctor requested, and I hesitated. I was not willing to be completely vulnerable for this man.

"It's okay, Ritsuka," Soubi urged me gently, placing a hand below my legs and swinging them onto the examination table, aware that I didn't have the courage (or the energy) to execute even that motion without assistance. Slowly, he reached for my shoulders and eased me down until I was lying on the table. I was trembling, and Soubi leaned over and kissed my forehead as he took my hand again. In an attempt to calm me even further he started combing his fingers through my hair and playing one-handedly with my ears as the doctor tugged up my shirt and began to probe my stomach, instructing me to tell him if anything hurt.

I didn't like it at all. I didn't like his hands on my exposed stomach and I didn't like lying down in front of him with my head throbbing and the world spinning, and I didn't like waiting for something to hurt.

I looked up at Soubi as I tried not to think about the doctor's hands on my abdomen. His blond hair was tied back in a ponytail and his glasses were slightly askew, which amused me. The bandage around his neck wasn't as noticeable as usual, played down by his white shirt and long tan jacket. He looked cool, casual, not like he was caring for a sick preteen boy. He looked like a sophisticated college student and he looked, well, like a fighter. He was strong and lithe and beautiful. And I had never felt more towards him than I did in that moment.

I yelped when the doctor pressed down on a particularly sensitive part of my stomach and bile leapt violently to my throat. I gagged and jolted, and I would have rolled off the exam table if Soubi hadn't caught me. I was forced to swallow down the horrid, acidy taste stuck in my throat so I wouldn't be tangibly sick all over the floor.

"Well!" the doctor said, raising an eyebrow and stepping away from the exam table. "That's more than enough for me. You've caught the stomach flu going around, Ritsuka."

Soubi sympathetically gathered me up in his arms and rubbed my back while I took to shuddering and almost breaking down in distressed tears as I buried my face in his coat once more. "Is there anything we can do for him or will we just have to wait it out?"

The doctor talked and I didn't listen. I didn't want to listen to what he thought about me and my stomach flu and whatnot. But I guess no matter how hard you try to drown out the voices of the people in the room with you, a few words slip through the barrier and lodge themselves in your mind, prepared to be your salvation or your death – whichever came first.

"I'm concerned about his injuries," the doctor said at one point, and my cat ears twitched. "His immune system can't work to its fullest potential at warding off viruses if his body is already trying to heal numerous wounds. How did you hurt yourself, Ritsuka?"

I slowly resurfaced, pulling away from Soubi. My fighter was giving me a stony look, challenging me to reveal the way my mother hurts me. The way I get my injuries. He was practically begging me to tell.

But I lied. "I thought it might be a nice surprise for my mom last week if I polished the silverware in our attic for her anniversary with my dad, but I tripped coming down the stairs and a landed badly on some of the forks."

There. That explains my bruises and the puncture wounds. What a beautiful, thorough lie. I was actually kind of proud of myself for coming up with it on the spot.

Soubi sighed and shut his eyes. He was disappointed. He wanted me to reveal Mother's true nature so very badly. And I was sorry that watching me be hurt by her made him sad, but I just couldn't do that to my mom. I couldn't give her up. They would take me away from her, and then she'd be truly alone. And it would be all my fault.

"Well, I can send a nurse in with a saline injection, which should help speed his recovery along…"

I gasped and had to bite down on my lip to keep from crying out. The doctor said a few more things to Soubi, which I blocked out to try and deal with my horror, and told me to feel better soon before he left.

Soubi was already prepared for my meltdown. "Now, Ritsuka—"

"He said injection, Soubi! Needles!" I exclaimed frantically. I couldn't get in a decent breath of air.

"I know you're frightened," Soubi said softly, hugging me the way I love, that jerk. But that couldn't calm me down.

"I want to leave," I whispered pleadingly. "Please, Soubi. I want to go home."

Soubi sighed and reached for my hand. Slowly, he raised it to his lips and kissed a point below my knuckles. "Do you trust me?" he murmured, trailing kissing to my wrist, just like the first day we'd met.

"But I'm scared," I breathed, a tear spilling out of my eyes.

Soubi kissed it away. "I love you," he said quietly. "So don't be afraid. I'll protect you from anything. Everything."

My resilience was slowly crumbling. "I can't," I told him through choked sobs. "I'm frightened, Soubi. I can't do it."

He kissed my forehead and then let his lips hover over mine, agonizingly. I wanted his kiss so very badly. He brushed his thumb against my bottom lip and smiled. "I can't kiss you until you're better," he said. "You ordered me not to get sick… remember?"

Damn it.

The door opened and my breath caught in my throat. The same nurse who had brought us in here entered with a silver tray. I tried not to dwell on what was on it.

"Close your eyes," Soubi whispered.

"Don't let go of me."

"I promise."

I squeezed my eyes shut. Soubi began to pepper my hand with kisses again, distracting me from feeling the freezing alcohol swab. My breaths turned into short gasps. I knew what came next.

His lips reached my wrist. The needle went into my arm.

It was awful. Hell, was it awful. I could feel the damned thing inside of my arm. Not natural. Not right. But it didn't really hurt… until the nurse began to push down on it.

Soubi kissed my forehead once more. The antibiotics passed through the needle and into my bloodstream, and it stung fiercely. Hurt like hell. My arm would be sore for hours. At least in battle the pain goes away immediately once it ends. I preferred the pain of battle to this. That pain was all-consuming and concentrated, reminding me of Semei's life and his horrific death.

To this pain there was only fear.

And then the needle was out, but I could still feel the ghost of it lingering in my arm. And the pain was still there, resolute. Demanding to be felt.

I didn't listen to a word spoken after it was over. Soubi picked me up off the exam table and I was in pieces, crying into his coat. Too embarrassed and distressed to even look up. I didn't hear the nurse's final instructions to him or anything at all as we left the clinic. I tried blocking out every sense available to me but touch. All I wanted was the feel of Soubi's arms around me and the occasional kiss he gave me as his body rocked smoothly, telling me we were finally on our way back to his house.

I didn't resurface until I felt that we were climbing a set of stairs. We were back at his apartment building. "Soubi?" I mumbled, finally pulling my face out of his jacket and looking up at him. "I'm really sorry. For everything. I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to apologize to me, Ritsuka," he informed me gently. "None of this is your fault."

"I humiliated you back there."

"You think so? I didn't notice anything," he said sincerely, unlocking his apartment. "I don't really notice anyone but you, you know."

"I've been a brat for the last five days."

"Just a little," he chuckled, making me blush. "But when you're so sick, you have a right to be a little demanding." He carried me over the threshold and paused. "Would you like anything? Food? Sleep?"

I tested the state of my throat by swallowing. Still burning. I didn't want any food. But I didn't want any sleep, either. "I don't know."

"Feeling better?"

"I don't know."

Soubi laughed. "I'll get you some water," he decided for me, and I was carried to his kitchen and set down in the chair at his table. I sighed and rested my elbows on the table, burying my face in my hands. I felt like such an idiot. "I really am sorry."

"I know," Soubi told me, setting a glass of water in front of me. "But the worst is over. All you have to do now is get better and we can get back to focusing on the Seven Moons."

He brought me the glass of water and I drank it eagerly, gulping down the liquid. My throat felt dry as parchment still. Soubi sighed and picked me up again, carrying me back to the air mattress that had once been the Zero pair's. "Are you cold?" he murmured in my ear. I nodded, and he sat down on the mattress, cradling me in his lap.

"Soubi?" I mumbled, shutting my eyes.

"Yes, Ritsuka?"

"Thank you…" I whispered. "I love you."

He kissed my forehead. "I know. Now go to sleep."

"Okay."

"And I know I've said it before, but… I love you, too."

* * *

**Cute… right? =3 I hope you'll tell me what you think in reviews! And also, tell me whether or not it needs another chapter! I care a lot for all of your opinions! (I won't say which, but one of the ideas posted in a past review is sounding pretty appealing right now…) Heck, yell at me for finishing it for all I care. At least you took the time out of your day to review my story!**

**Actually, I based Ritsuka's fear of needles off of my own... I am so trypanophobic that I become a nervous, trembling wreck when presented with an injection. God knows I want a Soubi to hold me when I have to get a shot! The needle-in-arm description may seem a bit overdramati, but I swear that's how it feels to me! Are any of you out there terrified of needles, too?**

**On a completely unrelated note, I just realized that TWELVE YEAR OLD Ritsuka has already had more romance than I've had in my almost seventeen years! He's found himself a boyfriend and he's already given away his first kiss! I have yet to do either of those things! T T ... I'm gonna go watch some Azumanga Daioh later to cheer me up... stuped epiphanies.**

**Wow, I'm being really random.**

**And now, I must return to studying for my ACT… which is on Saturday. I've taken it once before, but alas, a 30 is not enough for a full ride scholarship to University of Washington. Must be raised by at least two points… (rips hair out and groans) Also, I haven't packed a thing for my two week stay in the mountains… Just cuz I want to share my excitement and maybe gloat a little, Imma be horseback riding every day up there in technological isolation! Squeeee!**

**I love you all so much and I apologize for the 1) randomness of the "my life is a romance wasteland" pity paragraph, 2) unloading my ACT woes upon you and 3) gloating about the horses. Teehee =3**


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